Coaching Tools

The best tools for you are the ones that effectively catalyze a shift in your way of being. It’s going to be different for each person and sometimes we must invent a new tool on the spot! Here are a few that I am experienced with:

Ontological Coaching

As an ontological coach, I work with techniques to help you become a better observer of yourself in the realms of body, emotion and language. Once we are able to see how our attitude and behavior arises from old stories we carry about ourselves and the world, from persistent moods that color our perception, and from unconscious patterns in how we inhabit our body, we can gradually begin to loosen the grip that these elements have over our sense of reality. 

Through practices that include the linguistic, emotional, and somatic dimensions, we can learn to self-author a new coherence of being that when practiced consistently, leads to deep transformation, lasting freedom from limiting beliefs, and endless new possibilities in our lives. For more information with examples, see this introduction to the OAR and BEL models of ontological coaching.

I completed my certified coach training with Julio Olalla at Newfield Network, a world class ontological coach training program based in the USA and Latin America.  For a taste of of what Newfield Network’s program is based on, check out Julio Olalla’s TED talk.

For more on the topic of ontological coaching, see related posts:

Polarities

A polarity is any pair interdependent values, strengths, or motivational drives which are both needed over time in order to sustain a healthy, well functioning system. Both poles of a polarity have their upsides (+) and downsides(-), creating a natural tension between the two poles such that they balance each other out over time. Examples of polarities can be found everywhere: Freedom and Reponsibility, Humility and Confidence, Justice and Mercy, Planned and Spontaneous, to name a few.

Polarity mapping can give us a new way of seeing our struggles, helping us to recognize the fears based on either-or thinking that unconsciously keep us trapped in vicious cycles. As we learn how to apply the wisdom of both-and thinking, we can transform our vicious cycles into virtuous, self-sustaining systems.

After discovering the power that polarity thinking had in transforming my own life in 2019-2020, I went on to obtain my certification in PACT™ Foundations & Professional Applications with Polarity Partnerships. I have witnessed countless clients gain powerful new insights and wisdom through following the steps of creating a Polarity Map® together and unpacking it by following the SMART process: Seeing, Mapping, Assessing, Learning, Leveraging.

For organizations and teams, I offer the Polarity Assessment™, which provides a comprehensive indicator of how well you are leveraging the polarities that are key to your success and provides a reliable way of quickly identifying the action steps needed to restore balance and take your results to the next level.

For more on the topic of polarities, see related posts:

Polarity Map® is a registered trademark of Barry Johnson & Polarity
Partnerships, LLC. Commercial use encouraged with permission.

Relationship as Dojo

Discover the hidden growth opportunities in your personal and professional relationships by embracing them as a dojo for your evolution. Learn life-changing communication skills and develop healthy boundaries. Learn to listen for the wisdom that is always available in your relationships. The good news is that life is always ready to teach you the next level of self mastery through the opportunities in your relationships that present themselves every day. The challenge is that these situations tend to feel like threats, not opportunities. Many of us were conditioned to think that with the right partner or the right co-workers, there won’t be conflict. The truth is that conflict is a healthy and essential ingredient in all relationships. The real problem is that most of us never learned how to navigate conflict effectively. With the right mindset and skills, every conflict can be embraced as a growth opportunity. Rather than seeing conflict as a sign that there must be something wrong with you or the other person, we can learn to accept ourselves and the other person fully as we are, bringing curiosity to what’s going on instead of judgement. On this path of relationship as dojo, conflict becomes a way to discover ourselves and each other more deeply. The fruits of our labor are the superior results we are able to achieve together by leveraging our differences. Results which would not be possible to achieve alone. My approach to relationship coaching is based on a number of different influences, including The Relationship School and the work of Jayson Gaddis. I love The Relationship School Podcast and I sometimes share specific episodes with my clients. For more on the topic of relationships, see related posts:

Compassionate Mindful Awareness

Develop your capacity to confront life clearly and with an open heart, without the distortion caused by confusing interpretation with reality. No matter what road you have previously walked, no matter what demons of the past nip at your heels, there is always a possibility of forgiveness and creating the next chapter of your life from a place of deep acceptance, inner peace and authentic wisdom of the heart. Many traditional spiritual practices are thought of as having a primary goal of transcending the ego. While becoming more aware of the true nature of ego is a valid and helpful aspect of personal development, this goal of transcending the ego can become harmful if we come to see our ego as the problem; as something to try and get rid of. By developing the heart through practices of compassion and self-acceptance, our sense of self can become large enough to contain ego, effectively taming it with love instead of condemning it with judgement. This love is in fact exactly what makes it safe enough for ego to learn how to let go where necessary while still functioning in a healthy way where we need it to. With compassionate mindful awareness, we can learn to make contact with all of the sources of wisdom inside of us. Not just the ones that fit the accepted paradigm. As our relationship with these sources of wisdom deepens, so does our capacity to gracefully navigate all aspects of the human experience with a sense of gratitude and awe. In supporting my clients to develop mindful awareness, I draw inspiration from the work of teachers such as Tara Brach, Eckhart Tolle, and Matt Licata. For more on the topic of mindful awareness, see related posts:

Integral Theory

Make sense of the complexity of life’s most paradoxical dilemmas and learn to recognize the developmental patterns that determine how we assign meaning to our experiences. Gain a higher degree of nuance and sophistication in your ability to relate effectively with a wider range of people across a wider range of cultural orientations. Resolve the confusion that causes conflict and self-doubt as natural side effects of the way in which consciousness evolves. Stand in your truth with deep respect for everyone else’s right to be where they’re at and learn to act humbly and with awareness of your own developmental edge. Integral Theory provides a remarkably coherent and self-revealing structure for understanding how perspectives evolve, bringing a sense of dignity and purpose to the often messy process of evolution both individually and collectively. For more on Integral Theory, listen to this introduction by Ken Wilber, the philosopher and author who brought Integral Theory into the world. My favorite model for understanding Integral Theory’s developmental stages of consciousness is the STAGES model by Terri O’Fallon. I sometimes use this model to help clients identify and work on their own developmental edge, as well as understand how stage differences may play into relational conflict. For leadership and organizational coaching, I often draw upon the work of Frederic Laloux and his book Reinventing Organizations which applies Integral Theory to understanding the evolution of organizational culture. For more on the topic of integral theory, see related posts:

Shadow Work

Achieve greater wholeness and inner peace by learning to recognize and resolve unconscious shadow material. Get to the root of what causes self-sabotage, harmful relationship patterns, self-esteem issues, addictive behavior, recurring bad moods, anxiety, depression, dysfunction in organizations, health problems and more. Many problems in life are blamed on oneself or others because we do not yet have sufficient awareness to recognize that the real cause is in fact unconscious shadow material. Nor do we know how to resolve it, often resorting to harmful coping strategies that deepen the shadow further and cause it to spread. For those who wish to get to the real root of their problems, shadow work can be one of the most powerful and transformative coaching tools. Shadow work not only relieves painful symptoms but also frees up suppressed parts of the self and empowers teams with higher levels of trust and creativity. The processes I use to facilitate shadow work are based on my studies with Matt Licata and with STAGES International. For a detailed overview of how the STAGES model can be used to facilitate shadow work, check out this video of Kim Barta speaking at IEC 2020. For more on the topic of shadow work, see related posts:
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